Lessons Learned from a Difficult Childhood
Forged in Resilience: This Blog’s & Coaching’s beginnings
At the ends of 2021, around the peak of the coronavirus epidemic, I unexpectedly lost my job as an RN in the ER!
However, I chose to make the most of this unfortunate event by turning my life around and pursuing my long-standing dream of self-development and personal growth in coaching & blogging.
Notwithstanding the initial setback, I decided to devote myself to imparting all of my academic expertise, personal and work experience to all who aspire to better themselves, surmount obstacles, and live with more intention and purpose.
Sladjana Pejovic
Psychologist, RN, Life Coach
Happiness is a process and a choice. There is no quick fix. The secret to life? Keep learning, experimenting, and trying out new things that inspire you! Let go of losses. Learn from your mistakes and start all over again:)
Back to the very beginning: The First Days of My Life
Overcoming adversity early on is a core part of my story. Born with physical limitations in a single-parent household in Serbia almost 40 years ago, I faced hardship and poverty from the very beginning in my family.
But this hard life in such tough and unfavorable circumstances, did not leave my mother unaffected. Her upbringing and struggles of her own led her to communicate through various forms of abuse towards my older sibling and me as a child. At the age of 9, my mother pursued a better life in Greece (Crete) with my older sister, as there wasn’t a better future for us back then in Serbia.
At that age, I was already managing a rural household for my grandparents with the help of my grandmother, as they had become my custodians. Some two years later and after another severe illness of mine the reunion with my mother and sister fortunately happened in Greece.
All these first challenges that I was faced with at such a young age forged resilience, work ethic, resourcefulness and an entrepreneurial spirit that continue to drive me still today.
From Uprooted to Unstoppable: My Journey of Resilience in Palaiochora of Crete
My life was a masterclass in adaptation. Transplanted to a new country (Greece, Crete) at 11, I navigated cultural differences and a vibrant landscape. While academic struggles emerged, and personal challenges continued, a spark of curiosity ignited within me. Witnessing the beauty of the Cretan Sea alongside the complexities of a new language and customs, I discovered a deep appreciation for life’s possibilities.
These formative years instilled in me an unwavering resilience and a relentless pursuit of knowledge, as well as the need to keep helping my family. This journey continued to shape me. My approach to the world, guided me to understand the human complexity in its nature and experience it on a deeper level.
Meanwhile communicating with our mother became increasingly challenging. As I gained self-awareness, I began to recognize the negative effects of her behavior on us. Not long after recognizing the need for another change in our lives, we embarked on a move to Athens, a vibrant city brimming with opportunity. This new chapter looked so promising in my eyes for fresh experiences.
From Crisis to major Clarity: Finding My Path in Athens
In 2001, Athens became our new frontier. While my mother and sister adapted to the bustling city, I found myself struggling. My grades plummeted, and a deep sense of personal crisis engulfed me. As I approached my late teens, everything felt uncertain, and a wave of self-doubt washed over me.
Facing the world with a shattered sense of self-confidence felt impossible. Thankfully, I had my sister’s unwavering support. However, the question of why I couldn’t integrate seamlessly, like everyone else, gnawed at me.
With my sister’s encouragement, I began working with private tutors. Their guidance helped me graduate high school and gain admission to the University of West Attica in Athens, where I enrolled in the Department of Nursing. Throughout this time, my mother tirelessly juggled multiple jobs to provide for us.
Building Independent Life: From Friction to Freedom
University ignited a passion for learning within me. Gone were the struggles of high school. Now anatomy, physiology, and nursing theories had become subjects I devoured with genuine curiosity. This insatiable hunger for knowledge stemmed from a desire to understand the world, myself, and my dysfunctional family dynamic which I started noticing that was happening for a fact.
Graduation brought me the credentials of a Registered Nurse, but a sense of fulfillment remained elusive. My pursuit of self-discovery was characterized by implementing theories as well as all the practical parts I had obtained at the University. But prioritization of my well-being, and setting boundaries, resulted in further friction with my family. While their (my mother’s and my sister’s) influence played a key role in my earliest years, at 21, a significant relationship opened my eyes to these dysfunctionalities, which were much bigger than I could have ever imagined. It also gave support that I unavoidably needed, to take the next step in my life.
This period of growth wasn’t readily embraced by my family. As the gap between our perspectives widened, and my desire for self-discovery, self-actualization, and independence grew, it ended up taking my life fully into my own hands.
This period coincided with the devastating 2008 financial crisis in Greece. With no job, limited resources, and a partally newfound sense of self, I embarked on a challenging yet liberating journey of independent living. This experience would become a defining chapter in my later on life, shaping my future, me and approach to challenges.
Self-Doubt to Self-Discovery: My Path to Psychology
My early twenties were a period of both personal growth and unfortunately manipulation. A significant relationship, though ultimately flawed, introduced me to valuable lessons to learn about relationships, emotions, and self-worth. Although at the beginning I was receiving the support I needed to rebuild my life, it eventually masked a deeper truth – narcissistic abuse.
This realization, coupled with a fractured family dynamic and a gnawing sense of purposelessness, plunged me into a period of self-doubt and negative self-talk. At the same time for five years, I cycled through a series of jobs, searching for direction and fulfillment while grappling with the lack of contact with my family.
Yet, even in the face of immense personal challenge, a spark of resilience remained. As I approached 30, I made a defining choice – to break the cycle and reclaim control of my life. Fueled by a deep desire to get answers and major clarity, I embarked on a new journey – pursuing a degree in psychology. This decision marked a turning point, a shift from surviving to thriving.
From Struggle to Self-Mastery: Reinventing Myself in Serbia
My journey to becoming a psychologist wasn’t without its challenges. After overcoming significant personal hurdles like moving back to Serbia, I set my sights on a Bachelor’s with Honors degree in Psychology at the University of Philosophy in Niš, Serbia. This required not only academic excellence (which I achieved with a full scholarship and a near-perfect 9.04 GPA!), but also mastering a new language from the beginning– Serbian.
Juggling strenuous studies with temporary jobs to make ends meet was a demanding experience. Yet, this period of immense effort fuelled significant personal transformation. From self-doubt and guilt, I emerged with newfound answers, confidence, and assertiveness. My self-discovery journey led me to recognize and embrace my true self, including my sexual orientation, thanks to my studies.
This personal evolution rendered my previous relationship incompatible. I made the difficult but empowering decision to end it, knowing it meant starting anew – without a job, a place to stay, or immediate support. It was a defining moment – a commitment to forge a life aligned with my authentic self. This included going back to Athens and starting over.
From Academia to Reality: Lessons Learned in a Tough Market of 2017
I started again as a private nurse. My new friend and colleague at work with a patient.
Rekindling old friendships
In very few instances I would take some hours off. I used the time to hang around positive people and enjoy my life. As much as that was possible.
Graduation marked the beginning of a new chapter, but not quite the one I envisioned. With the 2008 financial crisis still looming and Greece grappling with high inflation and austerity measures, in 2017, job opportunities for psychologists were scarce.
Despite holding the coveted title of Psychologist, reality dictated a different path. To make ends meet, I returned to nursing once again, this time working long hours for an agency that exploited my desperation. Shifts of 19 hours and a grueling 9-night stretch pushed me to my physical limits.
This was a period of immense resilience. I persevered through exhaustion and frustration, driven by the knowledge that I was building a secure foundation for myself. Even though my initial career aspirations were temporarily on hold, I was determined to navigate the challenging job market and find my place.
Embracing New Horizons
Despite the very bad financial situation that forced me to hit the brakes on my dream career, I discovered a surprising inner strength to look forward to. New experiences and new people started filling the void I was feeling in me, painting a hopeful future. A fragile sense of normalcy, like a seedling pushing through concrete, slowly took root.
However, after a year, the financial strain became untenable. Desperate for a change, the universe seemed to intervene. I met a woman who, through a shared vision and reciprocal connection, ignited a spark of profound happiness and fulfillment that I had never felt before in my life.
For the first time, I felt truly aligned and at peace. It was a revelation – a connection with my gut instinct I hadn’t even realized existed. This newfound love story unfolded naturally, leading to plans for cohabitation and eventual migration to her home country.
Then the unexpected happened. My future wife backed off and long story short she disappeared in no time. Looking back I still do not see red flags. Word shock is not enough to describe what that did to me! I knew though, from the beginning that my life or myself, would never be the same again after her. Something had drastically changed in me. I had broken down!
Major clarity: A turning point in Germany
After no time the world beneath my feet crumbled, leaving me lost in a storm of emotions, and mental & physical exhaustion. The path I thought I was on had vanished, replaced by a struggle that seeped into every corner of my life. Knowing I couldn’t weather this one alone, I reached out to my sister, a lifeline in the churning sea. She came around and brought me to Germany, where she was residing with her husband.
My memories of that period from that moment remain fragmented, likely due to the emotional strain and a brief dissociative episode I went through with reality becoming briefly distorted. Then my coping mechanisms kicked in that were not of the best benefit for me. I found that ”consolidation” in alcohol which provided temporary relief. But ultimately hindered my overall healing and progress. Despite the challenges, I refused to give up entirely, where I began a critical phase of fundamental recovery.
As I was feeling sorry for myself, one evening I felt strong chest pain and went to the hospital, where I got diagnosed with Tietze Syndrome on my right collarbone.
Reaching my Turning Point in Germany
Germany became my refuge. Though weak in every sense and emotionally raw, a spark of hope flickered within me. The first few months were a blur – a fog of healing, both emotional and physical. After a year of a constant ache of heartbreak, my pain started to ease, while accepting my life as it was. This positive twist brought me a yearning desire to rebuild myself, piece by broken piece.
Three months into healing I started working in a nursing home for the elderly with no language and no credentials recognized, as an assistant nurse. Hence they were the only ones that wanted to hire me. I worked 30 hours a week plus 20 hours attending a school for the German language weekly, although not being ready for these steps.
Within a mere nine months, I managed to pass all my German exams, reaching a B2 (upper intermediate) level! This accomplishment was a testament to my dedication and hard work, considering I started with zero prior knowledge and many other disadvantages.
This success of course came with its costs. At the end of the first year not only that my body gave up on me (hip issue), but I also got fired as I couldn`t keep up with the constant increase in job demands.
However, this experience led me to a job change, which gave me a new positive perspective. An additional takeaway was the strong relationships I built with the residents of the house. I enjoyed a close connection with them, as well as with my colleagues.
Under my smiley face was my reality no one could see.
Blooming Where I was Planted: A German Chapter
The emotional turmoil and my mental breakdown I faced led to chronic sleep issues and almost to anorexia. Online forums for connection offered little solace in my sleepless nights. Despite my efforts, nothing seemed to heal the deep wound within, no matter how much time I gave myself or met new people. As I teetered on the brink of surrender, a chance encounter with a remarkable woman who shifted the course of my life once more.
Our connection was unexpected, yet profound. Her presence became a balm, easing my sleeplessness and eventually leading me to abandon the unhealthy coping mechanism of drinking and eating more. Slowly, my smile returned. Within a few months, we were living together in her flat and her city.
Driven by a renewed sense of purpose and feeling that I ultimately started getting back what life was owning me, I leveraged my nursing background (got my accreditations) to secure a position at the hospital she was employed, albeit initially as an unqualified assistant. In other words, I had to start all over again. Obtaining my official accreditation became a shared goal, and her unwavering support proved invaluable. As soon as I achieved accreditation, I proudly transitioned into a Registered Nurse role at the same hospital.
Witnessing her pride in my achievement fuelled my own. With her guidance, I sought a transfer to the Emergency Room department as it always had always been my dream job. This is how I embraced a new challenge with a brand new title and uniform.
The Dawn of Understanding: A New Chapter Unfolds
An unfortunate workplace dispute led to an orchestrated situation that misrepresented my performance. This experience, while frustrating, served as a powerful catalyst for positive change. The rigid hierarchy, internal policies and focus on power dynamics within the department clashed with my professional values. The idealized vision I held of a collaborative and supportive Emergency Room environment had been shattered.
Facing unexpected termination, I refused to be defined by negativity. Instead, I viewed it as an opportunity to re-evaluate my priorities and my professional goals. This dismissal highlighted the importance of finding a work environment that fosters open communication, values initiative, and respects individual contributions.
While the experience caused a temporary setback, it also opened the door for me to explore new ventures. Like practicing psychology as my German was getting improved over time.
This unexpected turn of events had ignited a sense of excitement about the future. I embraced the opportunity to leverage my skills and experience in a setting that aligns with my values and fosters my professional growth.
A Catalyst for Change: Asking for Help
Or I thought so! After the dust had settled down form the abrupt departure from the ER, I was faced with unexpected reality check. The initial shock morphed into a self-doubt, as I had lost my ”dream” job. A wave of emotional turmoil swept over me, fuelled by a sense of injustice. This triggered a period of intense self-reflection, where the wisdom of “The obstacle is the way” resonated deeply. I was on a verge of my second breakdown.
Taking charge of my well-being, I sought help from the social care system. While the initial support was helpful, I felt a disconnect – the approach lacked the personalization needed to address my specific needs and its focus was only physical.
This experience became a catalyst for self-discovery. I knew conventional solutions wouldn’t suffice. The help I received follows down below…
2. Rehabilitation Center for mental health
The next step in my healing journey involved inpatient treatment at a rehabilitation center. The whole assessment and treatment kept being focused primarily on physical health. A comprehensive evaluation and treatment of my mental well-being was of zero interest.
Throughout this experience, I continued to experience significant pain in my left hip, a lingering issue since my first employment in elderly house. Additionally, my overall physical condition remained compromised. While medication was offered as part of the treatment plan, I felt it important to explore alternative options that addressed both my physical and mental well-being.
Throughout this process, I prioritised open communication and advocated for a treatment approach that aligned with my needs and not systemic. I had no self-doubt about what I had to do next.
Determined not to be swayed by their tactics, I knew it was time to take control. Despite their attempts to influence my decision, I terminated the treatment early and returned home to the unwavering support of my girlfriend. Her constant presence and unconditional acceptance were the cornerstones that got me through those challenging months.
1. Daily mental care clinic
While the initial approach to my treatment involved a focus on occupational and behavioural therapy, I felt a deeper exploration of my past experiences might be more beneficial. In other words…the official mental care provider was not sufficient enough to get me back on track. Although I was facing chronic burnout, this seemed an irrelevant factor to my physicians.
So I embarked on a journey inwards by myself, while being in the facility. This included delving deeper into past traumas and seeking a more personalised approach to myself. I began applying positive psychology principles and life coaching on myself. I delved into personal development strategies, determined to emerge stronger.
Some of my diagnoses I was diagnosed with. These were: PTSD, Migraines, Psychosomatic disorders and so many more which you can see in the two pictures on the left side.
3. The sole resolution to my circumstances
Despite feeling unsure of the solution, I kept turning inward. It dawned on me that self-discovery was the unexplored path. So I took a leap of faith and delved into introspection further.
My university education had provided valuable tools, but regrettably lacked the crucial element of personal growth. To bridge this gap, I revisited the powerful principles of positive psychology…and not only.
With a renewed focus on self-development, I embraced the world of personal growth resources, eager to fill the void left by my formal training.
Breakthrough: Building a Self-Reliance with 4 My Practical Steps
While seemingly straightforward, putting the plan into action proved to be a demanding and often frustrating process. There were numerous setbacks, and moments where the path forward seemed unclear.
1. Workout
Returning home from the rehabilitation center my plan began with a focus on physical well-being. I started slow, with gentle cardio and lightweight training. I had to regain my muscle mass back. Self-compassion became my guiding principle. Instead of pushing myself to the point of exhaustion, I listened to my body, celebrating every small step forward.
Throughout the journey, I always had to consider the pain in my body, my mood, and the levels of my energy, which were very low at the time. Not only that but also my migraines too. My mental and physical endurance had steeply dropped. After many trials and errors, I found the middle way. The way that worked for me. Additionally to this, my nutrition got better and contained only bio and vegan products.
Healing wasn’t just physical, it was emotional too. Qigong sessions became a powerful tool for regaining myself and my spiritual and mental strength. While these sessions often brought up buried emotional pain, they also led to powerful “aha” moments that fuelled my growth and healing.
2. Self-studies
The next step embarked me on a self-directed learning journey. This wasn’t just about casual reading; it was a deep dive into knowledge that would empower me and my mental well-being.
My focus was two-fold: understanding alternative approaches to common mental health challenges and promoting holistic wellness. I revisited foundational psychology texts from my academic background, while also exploring the wisdom of ancient philosophers like Plato, Socrates, and Stoics. Foreign thinkers like Spinoza, Rene Descartes, Nietzsche, and Buddha further broadened my perspective. Religious texts like the Bible and Quran provided additional insights.
Beyond philosophy, I delved into the realms of self-development and personal finance. Life coaches, motivational speakers, and successful entrepreneurs from diverse fields – athletes, business leaders, and self-made millionaires – all offered valuable lessons. Countless hours of videos and interviews fueled my learning.
Positive Psychology, Existential Psychology, and Humanitarian Psychology became my next areas of exploration. These branches, sometimes dismissed within conventional clinical frameworks, but resonated with me because they consisted of a more holistic approach to wholistic health. My personal experience in a clinical setting further solidified my belief in exploring alternative paths.
Meanwhile understanding the importance of effective communication, I also delved into linguistics. This included Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) examining deeper the challenges of verbal communication, but also the importance of non-verbal communication, considering cultural nuances, and customs – all vital for clear and impactful message delivery.
To round out my self-reliance toolkit, I explored the connection between nutrition, physical activity, and overall well-being.
3. Social cut-offs…
As I shed the limiting beliefs of the past, and upon reexamining my relationships, I embraced personal responsibility and self-awareness to the extent I was concerned. I realized it was time to rewrite my story, to become the author of my own life, not just a guest star trying to save the world!
Hence I focused on cultivating a supportive network. This wasn’t about blind loyalty or people-pleasing and accepting in my life, but about surrounding myself with individuals who fostered mutual respect and supported my personal journey.
Unfortunately, this transformation meant re-evaluating existing relationships. Family members who previously benefited from a more passive version of me struggled with my changes. My commitment to healthy boundaries and self-prioritization was perceived as a threat to the established dynamic.
After repeated attempts at open communication and establishing healthy boundaries, I made the difficult decision to disengage from those who couldn’t adapt. It wasn’t about firing them, but about prioritizing my own well-being.
Similar decisions were made with some close friends. These choices were not easy, but they ultimately freed up significant energy for self-investment and personal growth that I desperetly needed.
4. Introspection
Some months later, when I comprehended the ”losses” and there was no noise in my head anymore I came to some realizations. Through introspection, I realized that throughout my life, I had settled for less – both professionally and personally. The fear of burdening others, especially my family, led to a pattern of tolerating injustice and mediocrity, for the sake of the family system. This selflessness was often misconstrued as weakness, and I found myself repeatedly taken advantage of.
However, amidst these realizations, a powerful entrepreneurial spirit surfaced. I have always possessed a knack for identifying opportunities and crafting creative solutions. Intuition whispered that my personality was better suited for the freedom and autonomy of entrepreneurship. The idea of controlling my own destiny became an unshakeable desire.
The initial spark of starting my own business was quickly met with a healthy dose of self-awareness. Courage and practical knowledge were crucial missing pieces. So, I began navigating this new path strategically. Networking with other entrepreneurs, exploring potential ventures, and developing my business acumen became my focus.
My personal journey of self-discovery led me to a powerful vision: to write, teach, coach, and inspire others through public speaking. The challenges I faced not only unearthed a deep well of creativity within me, but also ignited a burning desire to share my learnings and empower others. The outdated societal expectations that once held me back no longer held any power over me. Instead, I craved the freedom to design my own work schedule and prioritize my well-being.
This transformation has profoundly impacted both my professional life and goals. I’m now deeply committed to fostering collaborative and supportive work environments. My mission is to contribute to a culture that values open communication, encourages initiative, and empowers individuals to reach their full potential while staying true to themselves.
Today I am a person filled with strength, resilience, major clarity, and tunnel focus. This blog is a testament to my journey, a reflection on my transformed life, and a beacon of hope for those seeking a brighter future.
Where Am I Today in Life?
My journey has been a transformative one. Today, I stand in a brighter place, physically and emotionally healthy, surrounded by a supportive family and friends I’ve chosen to have. Plus to that, I keep evolving and growing as a person continuing the journey of my healing. This passion for self-discovery extends beyond personal growth.
Furthermore, I recently got certified in Life Coaching after successfully attending and completing a life coaching program at the Academy of Modern Applied Psychology (AMAP), instructed by Kain Ramsay. I’m also deeply invested in the ongoing growth of this blogging & coaching venture.
It is so many things that I learn every day about it and there are so many other things I want to share with all of you who are willing to grow and better yourself and your lives. My purpose with this blog & coaching website is to make a big and positive impact on all of you. By providing you with as many as possible insights, guiding you, informing you, and making the journey of your self-discovery easier and more constructive.
All in all, life is a journey with its ups and downs. While we may experience challenges along the way, it’s important to remember that these challenges are not meant to defeat us but to make us stronger. By staying committed to our goals, learning from our experiences and mistakes, and surrounding ourselves with positivity, we can overcome any obstacle and achieve our dreams. I am grateful for where I am today and look forward to sharing my journey with you through my blog & coaching. Together, let’s continue to grow, learn, and live our best lives.
A big Thank you for making it so far!
I want genuinely to express my gratitude for your time spent reading this long blog. This means a lot to me! Your devotion also signifies a genuine interest in improving your life, which I find admirable. Similarly, I would be delighted to hear your story, both the ups and downs, as we can all benefit and learn from it. You can send your story here.
I am grateful for your readership, and I hope that this post has brought you valuable insights and inspiration.
May your life continue to unfold in meaningful and fulfilling ways.
Sla:)
